Short Story

Daddy’s Little Girl
I shuddered as someone brushes past me in the street, I knew it was ridiculous. My childhood days of torment were over but I still couldn’t help being paranoid and more than that, I loathed anyone touching me. You hear about all these fears, claustrophobia arachnophobia and it made me wonder if there was a phobia for being paranoid and nearly having a panic attack if someone even looked at me too long. Although at least I have a reasonable explanation, not that I’d ever tell anyone. I glanced along the street, a habit, one I don’t think ill ever shake, I knew from experience that if I didn’t look and note everyone around me id break into a sweat and start running as though my life depended on it. I glanced up through my dark glasses, a defence I’d built in to make myself as unnoticed as possible, along with the scarf wound about my head and hair, to make myself as plain and unnoticed as I possibly could. I wasn’t always like this, but that was along time ago, my innocence and naivety lost of my eighth birthday, it was such a long time ago, with me at the age of seventeen, and yet it feels like yesterday. I shuddered as the memory came flying back.

I laughed shrilly, the kind of laugh only an innocent child could pull off. My hair whipped in my face as I ran through the crowded park, trying to escape my pursuer. I finally burst free of the crowd and ran towards the climbing frame, I clamoured up clumsily. My movements were jerky and hurried, trying to push my young tired body faster. I finally made it to the top of the small enclosure; I poked my head out the tiny window and grinned triumphantly, I was safe up here. I saw you glance around the park, your blue eyes searching the grounds, I couldn’t help another giggle escape me at your confusion and stupidity, and I wasn’t even down there! Ha! I felt my heart swell with pride at my victory but it was short lived. At my giggle, you glanced up and surveyed me for a moment before walking over, a smile on your face. “That’s cheating!” my mum exclaimed, laughing. “It doesn’t matter”, I replied smugly, “I still got away and now you owe me a chocolate bar!” I grinned in delight at my success, you smiled faintly, “alright come on down and we’ll go to the shop, it’ll have to be quick mind, your dad will be expecting us before dinner to tidy ourselves up a bit”, you said, glancing at your gold diamond watch, glittering in the sun worriedly. I scrambled down happily, lured out of the park by the exciting thought of chocolate, I walked hand in hand with my mother to the shop. More out of making sure I don’t change my mind and run back to the park instead of a loving gesture I think. I glanced up at my mum, my heart still pounding with childlike excitement and happiness, “when am I getting my presents?!” I said, breathless from running to keep up with your long stride. “Presents? What presents?” she said distracted by her watch, she frowned worriedly and picked up the pace. I frowned for a moment then I grinned, “Please! That used to work when I was six and seven but I am eight today and I know I have presents!” I said, trying and failing to sound older than I was. She smiled faintly and glanced down at me for a moment “I guess you are getting older”, she said thoughtfully, glancing at me sideways. I hesitated, feeling as though I was walking into a trap but unwilling to back down on this, “that’s right I am!” I replied. “that’s right, so… as your so grown up, mature and understanding, you are old enough to understand that if we don’t go home now, we’ll be late, so… we’ll get your chocolate tomorrow” she said hurriedly turning around and walking the other way, pulling me with her. I gaped at her in shock. “What? But-but that’s not fair! It’s MY birthday!” I cried dramatically. “I know, I know, tell you what, and ill get you two bars of chocolate tomorrow if you come with me now?” she looked down at me pleadingly, her eyes large and watery. I knew it was false but I couldn’t help falling for it, I mean she looked so sad! I sighed heavily before nodding my head silently to her, she beamed at me, her expression relieved and still a little worried, but I didn’t understand why, not yet at least. We set off home.

I glanced up across the table cheerfully, as people streamed into the room with trays and bowls and players heaped with food. I glanced up at my daddy, sitting at the head of the table, his icy blue eyes surveying us all, like a king watching his subjects. “When am I getting my present’s daddy?” I said my voice filled with childlike excitement. His ice blue eyes snapped to mine as he studied me carefully, “after Callie” he replied coldly. I stared back, defiantly, this was MY birthday, not his, and today I was queen. I lifted my head and stared at him, trying to make my eyes as cold and icy as his, I saw his lips curve faintly, his eyes flashing with amusement. Damn it! I shook my head angrily, “daddy please! I want to know now! It’s like my heart is fluttering in my chest! Ill DIE with excitement! Do you want to be the cause of my death!? I whined, trying to make myself look as sad and tearful as possible. He sighed heavily and gazed at me with eyes that looked as hard and icy as ever, no breaking down. I turned my pleading tear-filled gaze to my mother. She relented slightly, “after dinner perhaps”, she said softly, I beamed happily, shot my father a smirk and started to eat enthusiastically, eager to finish quickly.

Late that night, I was sitting in my bed playing with my new toys happily but quietly as my bedtime had long since passed when I heard a terrified scream coming from the left side of the house, mummy and daddies side. I stood up abruptly. Running to my door, I wrenched it open and flew across the corridor. I came to a stop outside my parent’s room and pushed it open, my small hand shaking as I touched the grainy wood. I froze as I saw the scene in the room, my heart stopped before pounding in my chest loudly. I went from confused, terrified, disbelieving and finally to fury. No one had noticed my entrance. I glanced from my daddy, staring down at mummy, his eyes sparking fury; his body seemed to emanate menace. My eyes flew to my mummy, lying crumpled on the cream carpet sobbing, there was red blood growing on the carpet, trickling out of her fragile looking body. I ran over, my fury building with each step. I ran forward and kicked him in the back of his leg. I saw him buckle and fall to his knees. I stepped back and stared at him in surprise, I hadn’t thought I COULD make daddy fall to his knees, my intention had been to distract him, to make him stop, to make him realise I was here and suddenly apologize, To make him make everything okay. Tears fell down my cheeks, my body shaking once again. Daddy stood up and slowly turned around, his gaze met mine and I felt my heart stutter in terror. “Daddy?” I whispered he had never looked at me with such fury, his eyes burning. It wasn’t him! It can’t be. Not daddy, not him! Deep in my mind it whispered, you fool, of course it’s him who else would it be! “Get out Callie. Go back to bed, now!” he said, his voice emotionless. I shock my head slowly, tears flying about. He reached out and hit me, his fist smacking into my face, flinging my body against the wall. I heard my mother moan in terror. Daddy reached down and picked me up smacking me into the wall over and over again until my world went black and I shuddered my way back to the present.

Shivering I walked the streets feeling numb, a flashback… damn you! Why cant you leave me alone! I shuddered, even in jail your still tormenting me, how are you still ruining my life? I felt my eyes burn; I stopped suddenly and sat on a nearby bench, staring at the stars twinkling in the sky, my only comfort, the only thing that was beautiful and safe in my life. The only thing I trusted completely. I sighed and pushed back my tears, I had promised myself never to cry over him again. He was gone, no longer haunting my life. I blinked the tears back and took a mental step back to assess the situation. Another thing to add to the list, fear, paranoia and now flashbacks. “I can’t DO this!” I screamed at the sky. I slumped over, feeling exhausted, I just wanted it to be over. I turned my wrists over moodily and stared thoughtfully at the slim scar on each wrist, usually hidden beneath my black gloves. Scars on my body and mind, pushing against me unrelenting, pressuring me to end my life, and to succeed this time. The pressure on my mind was unbelievable; I rubbed my temples, wincing at the overload on my brain. I pressed myself against the bench, cringing at the memory trying to take over. I didn’t want to relive the awful memories that followed…the pain of his beatings, the pain of watching my mum slowly die inside without having any power to help her, having no power to even help myself, making sure I never told anyone about what he did, the pain of his rape when I hate the of twelve, and of course the paranoia he made me feel, knowing he followed me sometimes but never knowing when. The threat of him was enough to keep me silent anyway. The worst though was him making sure I had no one but him. No friends. No boyfriends. So very lonely that it hurt. Well there was one exception, and the results left me reeling, more terrified of him than ever.

I hadn’t meant for anything to happen but then Chase came to the school. He thought my silent withdrawn personality made me mysterious and alluring, he imagined my ignoring him was me playing hard to get. The more he chased me and pushed me to let him take me out the more I weakened. I began to think I could be sneaky, make sure dad (I had long since stopped calling him Daddy) was somewhere else, and keep my secret from Chase. I agreed for him to take me out, I intended to enjoy myself for once. I didn’t intend to fall in love with him so deeply or him with me. I began to long for his cocky smile or his arms around me as he held me tight, I was happy for the first time in my life. It wasn’t always easy keeping my secret, I wore baggy clothes and covered most of my body ( I was lucky dad never hit me in the face again, although I suspected it was more so he wouldn’t get found out) and most girls going out with their boyfriends wore next to nothing, my strange appearance and the fact I had remained slightly distant (to protect him) causes problems and many arguments, but making up with him afterwards was practically heaven. My happiness however wasn’t as concealed as I imagined it, I grew reckless, comforted by the fact that he hadn’t aught us in the three months we had been together, I began to think he never would. My mistake. On my sixteenth birthday I snuck out to meet Chase, having decided earlier that day that we would go out stargazing to celebrate, it didn’t turn out the way I imagined it, and it was probably the worst day of my life. Dad followed us. He smacked us both around, told Chase to stay away and threatened his family if he ever spoke of this. He took me back to his room when he finally dragged a fearful me back home where he battered me around some more, told me I was his and raped me, then finally when I had no more spirit or energy left inside to defy him, he threw me out. That night I had sat sobbing on my bed, my spirit crushed and my brief happiness over. I decided I couldn’t do it anymore and slit my wrists. As easy as that. I fell unconscious and the next thing I knew I was sitting in a hospital bed gazing at two police officers. Their questions felt as though it had been yesterday morning.

“Hi Hunni” she said, her voice like sickly honey, “this is Officer Rowan and you can just call me Pat” she smiled sweetly, looking about as fake as her nose… which I have to tell you… looked pretty fake from where I was sitting. I eyed her warily and tried to sit up, I failed miserably. “Its okay Hun, don’t try to sit up, we just want to ask you some question” she said. I sighed heavily. Already knowing where this was going, “I fell down the stairs last night, that’s why I’m bruised” I said emotionlessly. Pat studied me carefully before speaking almost hesitantly, “all the staff at your house reported there’s strange noises and screams, apparently it’s a regular thing, I think they believed the place was haunted” she smiled ruefully before continuing, “and we have a young man at the police station, named Chase King? I believe you know him. Not nearly as bruised as you mind but he does have a very interesting story”. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath before continuing. “We also have your mother down there, and although it’s very hard to make sense of what she says, we’ve come to the conclusion that you didn’t fall down the stairs” she said gently staring at me with kind brown eyes. I stared back for a long moment, feeling tears fall down my cheeks, I told her everything, blurting my story out between sobs. She was patient, nodding and smiling reassuringly when I seemed about to stop or break down. Her partner took notes in a little black book. Chase tried to get into see me after that but I didn’t want him in here, I already felt guilty enough, the nurses thankfully respected my decision and kept him out. When I got better… enough to leave anyway, I took all my money and disappeared into the poorer areas of the city, somewhere I wouldn’t be noticed. I never saw Chase or my Mother again.

Jerking my mind back to the present, I took a deep breath and set off up the street. I prayed as I walked, prayed he wouldn’t turn away with disgust and hatred on his face. While I hadn’t seen Chase in all these years I had kept track of him, unable to help myself. I walked up the path to his house, my body shaking in fear. Idiot! He probably wont even remember you! He probably has a girlfriend! Its been nearly two years! I turned away fearfully and came face to face with Chase. He hadn’t changed much, apart form his eyes, they were sad instead of cocky. I stared at him soundlessly. My heart pounding in fear, my mouth unbelievably dry. He stared at me for a long moment before whispering, his voice filled with shock, “Callie?” I took a deep breath and felt tears leak down my cheeks, “Chase I’m so sorr-”, he cut me off, taking two long strides, he enfolded me in his arms. I took a deep breath of shock. “I love you Callie, don’t you know that?” he whispered to me reverently. I smiled through my tears and knew things were going to get better from now on. I was safe with the stars overhead and curled in the arms of the only person I had loved. I smiled blissfully.